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April 30, 2004
Thong Songs: A Brief Appreciation
Some friends of mine are having their 2nd annual "underwear party" this weekend and they asked me to be one of the DJs. I had the honor of DJing their first underwear party last July and it was a ton of fun, a really crazy good time. I won't delve into the whole psychology behind underwear parties and who attends them and what they decide to wear, because that might take the fun out of it and I'd rather concentrate on the topic of underwear-themed dance music, since that has been occupying my head all week. So...live from the home office in Carrboro, NC, here is my own personal "Top 10 Songs to Play at an Underwear Party":
10. Justin Timberlake - "Rock Your Body" - Maybe a little overexposed at this point, but this song was transformed into an underwear party must-play the second it became associated with that one infamous act in which clothing came off and people were shocked. Plus, the beat has that undeniable Neptunes bounce to it. "....have you nekkid by the end of this song"? Hmmm, how about "by the start of this song"?
9. Jay-Z - "Change Clothes" - Another hot Neptunes jam, this one an ode to high fashion. Features the undies-centric lyrics "No bra with that blouse, it's so necessary. No panties and jeans, that's so necessary." Too bad the chorus is not "Remove clothes and go".
8. Kool Keith - "Photo Session" - This unlisted hidden track at the end of Sex Style has the inquisitive chorus "Can I see your panties, girl?". Almost a tad too slow for a dancefloor, but Kool Keith gets a bonus point for having the guts to actually sport some oddly colored bikini briefs on his own album cover.
7. Cymande - "Bra" - OK, so there's not even a mention of "bra" in the lyrics, but this incredible early 70s jam just has to be included on the list. Cymande was a 8-piece funk band whose members hailed from various Caribbean islands and "Bra" is a percussive-funk masterpiece that was heavily sampled in De La Soul's "Change in Speak". "It's alright", indeed.
6. Trina - "No Panties" - One of the filthiest songs on this list, but what else would anyone expect from Miami raunch-rapper Trina? The troubling chorus seems to advocate prostitution: "No panties comin' off, my love is gonna cost. 'Cause ain't no way that you gonna get up in this for free." Um, I guess she deserves some sort of credit for full disclosure.
5. J-Kwon - "Underwear" - This jam was just released and it's surprisingly topical. The chorus has the line "I'm in my underwear" and the lyrics actually describe hanging out at an underwear party. I guess that's what 17-year-olds do in St. Louis when it gets really hot.
4. Morris Day - "Fishnet" - This 1988 homage to a type of black pantyhose may not have stood the test of time the way other Jimmy Jam/Terry Lewis productions have, but I'm starting to think it might be a slept-on classic. "Fishnet....black pantyhose! Pink lace....shoved through the holes!"
3. Jermaine Stewart - "We (Don't) Have To Take Our Clothes Off" - Sure, Jermaine Stewart's 1986 smash actually advocates taking things slow and drinking "cherry wine". But a quick and well-timed edit gets rid of that pesky "don't" and turns this into a pro-stripping anthem. Trust me, people at an underwear party love hearing a party-justifying chorus like "We....have to take our clothes off to have a good time."
2. Adina Howard - "T-Shirt & Panties" - One of the sexxxiest of slow jamz. Adina answers Jamie Foxx's what-are-you-wearing telephone query with a simple and sultry "I got my t-shirt and my panties on". Bonus points for the hot remix with Cam'Ron, who confusedly boasts, "I'm naked wit' my boxers on". And this brilliant tune even spawned a response/variation from Lil' Flip, whose cough-syrupy joint "Boxers" celebrates the uniting of condoms and underwear with a "Horses wit my boxers on" chorus.
1. Sisqo - "Thong Song" - With its unforgettable "Thong th-thong thong thong" chorus, this 2000 hit unabashedly sings the praises of a turn-of-the-century underwear fashion craze. Sisqo barely nudges out "T-Shirt & Panties" for the #1 spot, partially on the basis of the superior remix with Foxy Brown. When Foxy raps "Ass so phat that it look like I got long johns on", she slips in a different type of underwear reference, thus demonstrating that she has a total appreciation for undies - one that transcends mere exhibitionism!
I'm sure there are some ghetto-tech or booty bass anthems that might be a little more topical than the Neptuneage at the beginning of the list, but such songs tend to be more about booty/ass, and DJ Assault's "Drop Dem Panties" is just all-out lame in my opinion. Other suggestions are highly welcome!
Posted by Tim at April 30, 2004 09:15 PM
Comments
What about "Hot in Herre"?
Posted by: John loves "beerrr" at May 1, 2004 02:26 PM
Crap, I totally spaced that one....thanks!! That would definitely make the list.
Posted by: Tim at May 1, 2004 04:36 PM
what about 'shake dat jelly' by three six mafia?? the title is deceiving but the song is actually about women who wear DD,C and B cup bras.
and oh my gawd, dont forget about the "jerry kerl kings" ready for the world with their song 'panties and draws'
(from allmusic.com):then there is 'bra and panties' by marc faggo. actually allmusic had a whole list of stuff that i have never even heard.
Posted by: cia at May 1, 2004 06:27 PM
Excellent, thanks for those suggestions...I really need to try and locate that RFTW track!
Posted by: Tim at May 2, 2004 07:04 PM
I just realized that another appropriate song would be Petey Pablo's take-your-shirt-off anthem "Raise Up". Especially since this particular party was in NC...
Posted by: Tim at May 3, 2004 03:00 PM
What about that "Cameltoe" song?
Posted by: John at May 3, 2004 03:44 PM
I always liked that line in "I'll Call Before I Come" about digging the old-fashioned drawers...
Posted by: JPH at May 4, 2004 12:21 PM
What about anything by Peaches????
Posted by: Ed at May 4, 2004 04:40 PM
Dear Friends
I am fond of R&B music of all the times and I personally appreciate so much Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis' productions so much.
I am Italian.
I'm desperately looking for the lyrics for Morris Day's "FISHNET".
Could you please tell me where I can find them?
Do you happen to have them?
Hope to hearing from you very very soon.
Yours sincerely
Daniele
kleeer@elitel.biz
Posted by: daniele at May 28, 2004 09:03 AM
"Fishnet" lyrics here:
http://lyrics.blueaudio.com/song/08438
Posted by: Tim at June 11, 2004 09:57 AM